Tonight I was talking with my friends Ann and Devin and we noticed the lack of responsibility children today in the US have. Children today have it so easy and they don't even realize it. It's just so incredible how our kids take everything for granted. They need to look at how it used to be and where our people have come from. Especially our African-American children. The topic came up during a discussion about the treatment of children in Bangladesh.
Ann: Children in Bangladesh carry bricks on their head to help build buildings.
Is that cruel??
You might think it is but those kids are learning a lesson about what it takes to help contribute to their community. Everyone there are working there for the betterment of their community and their lifestyle. That's how they are. I bet those kids will know the value of what it means to keep their community growing and making it better. It's keeping them from going out in the streets and learning a way of life that's detrimental to their own life.
US kids are going out, hanging with their friends into the wee hours of the night, having sex, making babies, drinking, and taking drugs. Half of their parents don't even know where they are and what they're doing. Kids have their parents do everything for them.
Devin: Kids get mad about their daddies giving them $700 instead of $1,000. I wish I would get mad about my mom giving me $40. I could do a lot with them two $20 dollar bills.
Parents need to realize that coddling their children is hurting them in the long run. They have in the back of their minds that their parents will end up bailing them out. Putting money in their accounts so they can go out and get drunk.
Kids in the old days used to get out of school at 12 years old because they knew being at home helping their parents build houses, feeding the cattle, and picking eggs to sell would help their family to put food on the table. Kids today don't even think about helping out their parents. Tey want to get their paper so they can go out and buy the latest kicks, the flyest clothes, and put rims on their broke down car to make them appear cool. How about working to save money to go to college and not have to pay so much to make it through or take out a lot of loans that you will have to pay back. And if you don't, mess up your credit even more than you already have because the minute you get a little plastic in your hand you go off. Believe me. I know from experience that credit cards are NOT the way.
Our kids need to get it together and it's up to the parents and elders to let them know that it takes a lot of preparation to move into adulthood. It's not an easy transition and you can't keep looking for an easy way out to make it through. When you get to the point where you can't work for a living or you can't hustle then what are you going to do? You're going to be struggling until the day you die.
We as a people, all people, need to know that just because you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth that you can't make it. Life is work and it begins the minute you know what you want your future should be. Don't blow it because you think the good life is going to be handed to you without any work on your part.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Coming to the Conclusion of Gaining Responsibility
I have this friend named Conclusion and I came to her to see why she thought my life wasn't exactly where I had pictured it to be at this point in my life. Conclusion lived in a posh high-rise apartment complete with just about all of the amenities you could ever ask for. My favorite feature definitely had to be her fabulous kitchen. There was stainless steel appliances, cherry wood cabinetry, and granite counter tops. The kitchen looked as if she had just moved in and that's because Conclusion was not a cook. She despised cooking actually. Although she didn't use her kitchen, to her, it was a symbol of all the things she had accomplished in her life. Her apartment, vacation home in Maui, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Bentley, which are her prized Cocker Spaniels, and her custom Range Rover SUV all show that despite all odds, if you try and believe you will achieve. Because Conclusion's life wasn't always so glamorous. In fact, it was plain ole' rough growing up in the urban jungle of Chicago. But Conclusion was always determined to make her life a better one no matter what.
She helped me to realize that life doesn't always go exactly as you intend. People too often live like they have the rest of their lives ahead of them. They forget that tomorrow is not promised today. Conclusion told me that in order to live life to the fullest, you must live everyday like it's your last. I told her that's what I try to do. Sometimes things just get in the way. But I tend to let those things get me down and forget to focus on what I currently have. Just because I'm not where I want to be now doesn't mean that I won't get there. I finally started to understand what I needed to do and I was glad I came to Conclusion.
We decided to call our friend Responsibility. He invited us out to dinner and we decided to join him. We asked where he wanted us to meet him and he replied, "McDonald's." Conclusion and I were taken back because we were looking for something of a little more substance, but we decided to go with Responsibility's suggestion. We pulled up to the McDonald's that was way across town from Conclusion's ritzy neighborhood. We stepped out of her Range Rover and made our way into the McDonald's. Immediately we gained stares, as we always do, and we shrugged them off as usual. We found Responsibility sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant. We went over to him and I quickly noticed his outfit from two seasons prior. But he was still a nice looking guy. The ladies all loved him and he loved the ladies. That is, the ones who would still give him the time of day after they found out his financial situation because of his excessive lack of sharing.
Responsibility is a recent college graduate and struggling to find his next path in life. He has so many great ideas and everyone believes he has all the potential in the world to succeed but Responsibility wants to make sure his next move is exactly where he wants to go. He works two jobs and rarely has anytime for anything else unless he is fortunate to gain the same day off from both jobs. So he has money, he just chooses not to use it. Everything about him is very minimal. His apartment is quaint and quiet, has all the necessities and nothing more. He doesn't try to be flashy with grills in his mouth, diamond necklaces, the latest kicks, or big shiny rims that overpower his car. Speaking of his car, he still drives the same Toyota Corolla he has been driving since his junior year in high school. He wears nice clothes that usually don't cost a lot of money. He may spend a little bit extra on his more professional attire. But Responsibility has a game plan. His objective is to take himself to his all time potential and that entails precise planning. He disagrees with the majority of the American society's philosophy of living way above their means. He is stingy with his money for a reason. When this life passes him by and he is into his old age, he wants to make sure that he will be taken care of. Also, he understands your worldly possessions cannot be taken with you when you cross over to the other side.
Conclusion and I greeted Responsibility before heading up to the counter to order our food. As I was walking up, anticipating my ten-piece nugget meal, I noticed Betrayal outside in the parking lot. I was hoping he wouldn't see me because I really didn't want to cause a scene. Especially after what happened the last time.
She helped me to realize that life doesn't always go exactly as you intend. People too often live like they have the rest of their lives ahead of them. They forget that tomorrow is not promised today. Conclusion told me that in order to live life to the fullest, you must live everyday like it's your last. I told her that's what I try to do. Sometimes things just get in the way. But I tend to let those things get me down and forget to focus on what I currently have. Just because I'm not where I want to be now doesn't mean that I won't get there. I finally started to understand what I needed to do and I was glad I came to Conclusion.
We decided to call our friend Responsibility. He invited us out to dinner and we decided to join him. We asked where he wanted us to meet him and he replied, "McDonald's." Conclusion and I were taken back because we were looking for something of a little more substance, but we decided to go with Responsibility's suggestion. We pulled up to the McDonald's that was way across town from Conclusion's ritzy neighborhood. We stepped out of her Range Rover and made our way into the McDonald's. Immediately we gained stares, as we always do, and we shrugged them off as usual. We found Responsibility sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant. We went over to him and I quickly noticed his outfit from two seasons prior. But he was still a nice looking guy. The ladies all loved him and he loved the ladies. That is, the ones who would still give him the time of day after they found out his financial situation because of his excessive lack of sharing.
Responsibility is a recent college graduate and struggling to find his next path in life. He has so many great ideas and everyone believes he has all the potential in the world to succeed but Responsibility wants to make sure his next move is exactly where he wants to go. He works two jobs and rarely has anytime for anything else unless he is fortunate to gain the same day off from both jobs. So he has money, he just chooses not to use it. Everything about him is very minimal. His apartment is quaint and quiet, has all the necessities and nothing more. He doesn't try to be flashy with grills in his mouth, diamond necklaces, the latest kicks, or big shiny rims that overpower his car. Speaking of his car, he still drives the same Toyota Corolla he has been driving since his junior year in high school. He wears nice clothes that usually don't cost a lot of money. He may spend a little bit extra on his more professional attire. But Responsibility has a game plan. His objective is to take himself to his all time potential and that entails precise planning. He disagrees with the majority of the American society's philosophy of living way above their means. He is stingy with his money for a reason. When this life passes him by and he is into his old age, he wants to make sure that he will be taken care of. Also, he understands your worldly possessions cannot be taken with you when you cross over to the other side.
Conclusion and I greeted Responsibility before heading up to the counter to order our food. As I was walking up, anticipating my ten-piece nugget meal, I noticed Betrayal outside in the parking lot. I was hoping he wouldn't see me because I really didn't want to cause a scene. Especially after what happened the last time.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
We Have Got To Do Better
I look around at my people and I have to say I'm not impressed. Not everyone is letting me down though. There are those out there who actually have the sense to do something with their life. Those with goals and ambitions other than breaking into the music game, playing professional sports, being the trophy on the arm of the neighborhood hustla, or becoming the ultimate video vixen. Not saying that there's anything wrong with those professions if that's what you choose to do. But why is it becoming socially acceptable in our community to strive to be these things. By any means necessary. Then my people get into these fields and totally take us back 5,000 steps.
You got the rappers out there telling how the hood is so cool and how it's so important to be down. The last time I checked the hood was not some place I would praise or a place where I would ultimately demand respect for because I was from there. I'm not knocking the hood. I have family members who are from the hood. My dad is a hood boy. But where is my dad at now? He lives with his wife of 23 years, raising and caring for his three children and now his grandson, in a two story house in a somewhat suburban neighborhood, driving a nice truck, provided his wife with a nice sports car, his children with their first and second cars, and spending most of his time now caring for horses. My dad did not let the hood take him over. He didn't automatically assume the position of being "ghetto" and getting stuck in a situation that he could get out of with a little effort. Most hood people think just because they're from the hood that that's where they always have to remain when there are other options. If my people would only start teaching their kids that an education is important, appearance is key, and that respect comes full circle then maybe we can start to change things around. But no. We let our kids (who can't spell their own names, can't speak proper English, or can't pinpoint the United States on a map) go out knowing every word to 'Pop, Lock, and Drop It,' 'Lipgloss,' and every other countless song and dance there is. I know plenty of little kids who can't even tell me where they live but tell them to do the Souljah Boy and they will tear it up. We have these rappers and singers out here talking about rollin', smacking b*tches and hoes, and bustin' a cap in someone's ass because they stepped on their fresh new kicks that everyone must strive to get since everyone in the world can afford them. I really hate when some rappers and singers talk about how much cash they have, how many diamonds are on their necks, how many cars they drive, and all that but then ask them to give a speech or explain something of educational value and they wouldn't be able to do it. I'm sorry, I might not have all the glitz and glamour, but I'm real happy about my education. I think there should be standards for some people who go into the music industry. Music stars are icons and are looked up to and some people just shouldn't be given a platform to be looked up at.
Sports figures. You have some greats out there. Jackie Robinson. Michael Jordan. Ken Griffey Jr. Rodney Peete. All respectable Black professional sports players. Then you got the Michael Vicks of the game. I know you all have probably heard all about him. Fighting and killing dogs. Animal cruelty all over the board. You have organizations out there who frown upon people who wear fur jackets and test medicines on animals and here he goes participating in the demise of these creatures. You have all this money and you can't find something of good moral values to do to occupy your time? Please believe if I had some pro football money, $37million to be exact, I would be traveling all over the place, handling my business, taking care of my family and friends, and helping out with all kinds of charities and foundations. But he wants to fight some dogs. Because it's so fun to see animals with razor sharp teeth dig their fangs into each other, clawing and scratching until the death, And if they don't win you go and kill them. Oooohhh... Sign me up. That sounds so exciting. And now look at you Mr. Vick. Your team is asking for $22 million of their money back. Sucks for you. But I can't talk to bad about him because he found Jesus yall. Yes. In light of all that is happening to him he has found Jesus. Hooray! But isn't that always these big ballers call to Glory. The minute they get caught up in something THEN they find Jesus. Whatever.
Now for my ladies. I am seeing more and more crazy tail hair styles. I'm seeing more and more inappropriate outfits. I'm seeing more and more disregard for being a lady. And some of these, unfortunately, are the mother of children. I have a neighbor, I don't know how or why, but she has a little boy and I feel so sorry for him. I mean, I just feel sorry for him. There's just too much to highlight about his mother that it would take me all day. But just to say some people shouldn't be parents. But I bet he'll know how to Two Step in a couple of months. Exercise is always good. But my ladies, my sistas, because you know we gotta put an 'A' at the end of something if we want it to be considered a black thing, is it too much to ask to have a little class. I love my friends. All of them are responsible, level headed, well presented, and respectable young black women. It's so interesting going to the club with them. My friends spend time picking out their outfits. Making sure they look nice, fit correctly, and is, therefore, appropriately assembled so as to make them appear as respectable as they possibly can be. Dress like a hoochie and be treated like a hoochie. Dress like a lady and be approached by the gentlemen who actually think they have a chance of gaining your attention. I'll go out with my friends and walk into the club and it's like wow! Booty shorts galore. Mini mini mini mini mini mini skirts. Clothes that are just way too tight. Hair colors that'll make a rainbow jealous. Gawdy jewelry. It's just a mess. And can't leave the fellas out when talking about clothing because it seems that 100XL shirts, 75x125 jeans, and fitted caps are the acceptable gear for ANY place they have to go. Can I see some pants pulled up and worn on the waist that actually fit. Nice polo and button down shirts. It's not appropriate to be street ALL the time. Just try to be taken seriously dressing that way and see how far it will get you. I respect those who can be street but at the same time know when to turn it on and off.
I'm real sick of black people who down those black people who are actually trying to be respected in this very fickle society of our's. We already have to fight so hard to be respected, get certain positions, and to be taken seriously because of our counterparts whose mission seems to be to ruin everything for the rest of us. Sure I may wear my clothes the right size instead of wearing clothes fit for a 300 lb man, talk properly instead of yo yo yoing and knawmeaning all willey nilley, walk with a sophisticated confidence instead of like one of my legs is shorter than the other, and care about my education and my advancement in the career world but does that have to mean I'm acting white? Does that have to mean I should be subject to scrutiny? And what kills me even more is that my people think they can get away with saying mean and hurtful things and if you have the backbone to say something back and stick up for yourself then they wanna get mad. Don't dish if you can't take it. That brings me to a story my friend told me not too long ago. It was about this couple who was going into the store together. Another guy came up and approached the girl and she had to let him know that she was there with her boyfriend. The boyfriend stepped in and politely let the guy know that they were together. WHY did the other guy shoot them? I mean, can't take rejection much. And we're talking about a black man here and a black couple. We have got to do better. All people have to do better but I would really like for my people to try just a little bit harder. Can we take after the Jewish community please. Because they came over to the United States and tore it up. We need to look out for our own. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down. And let's stop killing each other please. PLEASE. Killing is wrong regardless.
I just want us to continue what our ancestors started back during the Civil Rights Movement. We have already moved into a time of more equality but there is still so much more than can be done. And the only way we can succeed is to stop giving ammunition to those in power, because there are not many of us up there in rank in the United States, to look at us and believe that taking a chance on us will bring some undesirable consequences.
We have got to do better. For the sake of our future as a people. Because remember, what one of us does reflects on the whole lot.
You got the rappers out there telling how the hood is so cool and how it's so important to be down. The last time I checked the hood was not some place I would praise or a place where I would ultimately demand respect for because I was from there. I'm not knocking the hood. I have family members who are from the hood. My dad is a hood boy. But where is my dad at now? He lives with his wife of 23 years, raising and caring for his three children and now his grandson, in a two story house in a somewhat suburban neighborhood, driving a nice truck, provided his wife with a nice sports car, his children with their first and second cars, and spending most of his time now caring for horses. My dad did not let the hood take him over. He didn't automatically assume the position of being "ghetto" and getting stuck in a situation that he could get out of with a little effort. Most hood people think just because they're from the hood that that's where they always have to remain when there are other options. If my people would only start teaching their kids that an education is important, appearance is key, and that respect comes full circle then maybe we can start to change things around. But no. We let our kids (who can't spell their own names, can't speak proper English, or can't pinpoint the United States on a map) go out knowing every word to 'Pop, Lock, and Drop It,' 'Lipgloss,' and every other countless song and dance there is. I know plenty of little kids who can't even tell me where they live but tell them to do the Souljah Boy and they will tear it up. We have these rappers and singers out here talking about rollin', smacking b*tches and hoes, and bustin' a cap in someone's ass because they stepped on their fresh new kicks that everyone must strive to get since everyone in the world can afford them. I really hate when some rappers and singers talk about how much cash they have, how many diamonds are on their necks, how many cars they drive, and all that but then ask them to give a speech or explain something of educational value and they wouldn't be able to do it. I'm sorry, I might not have all the glitz and glamour, but I'm real happy about my education. I think there should be standards for some people who go into the music industry. Music stars are icons and are looked up to and some people just shouldn't be given a platform to be looked up at.
Sports figures. You have some greats out there. Jackie Robinson. Michael Jordan. Ken Griffey Jr. Rodney Peete. All respectable Black professional sports players. Then you got the Michael Vicks of the game. I know you all have probably heard all about him. Fighting and killing dogs. Animal cruelty all over the board. You have organizations out there who frown upon people who wear fur jackets and test medicines on animals and here he goes participating in the demise of these creatures. You have all this money and you can't find something of good moral values to do to occupy your time? Please believe if I had some pro football money, $37million to be exact, I would be traveling all over the place, handling my business, taking care of my family and friends, and helping out with all kinds of charities and foundations. But he wants to fight some dogs. Because it's so fun to see animals with razor sharp teeth dig their fangs into each other, clawing and scratching until the death, And if they don't win you go and kill them. Oooohhh... Sign me up. That sounds so exciting. And now look at you Mr. Vick. Your team is asking for $22 million of their money back. Sucks for you. But I can't talk to bad about him because he found Jesus yall. Yes. In light of all that is happening to him he has found Jesus. Hooray! But isn't that always these big ballers call to Glory. The minute they get caught up in something THEN they find Jesus. Whatever.
Now for my ladies. I am seeing more and more crazy tail hair styles. I'm seeing more and more inappropriate outfits. I'm seeing more and more disregard for being a lady. And some of these, unfortunately, are the mother of children. I have a neighbor, I don't know how or why, but she has a little boy and I feel so sorry for him. I mean, I just feel sorry for him. There's just too much to highlight about his mother that it would take me all day. But just to say some people shouldn't be parents. But I bet he'll know how to Two Step in a couple of months. Exercise is always good. But my ladies, my sistas, because you know we gotta put an 'A' at the end of something if we want it to be considered a black thing, is it too much to ask to have a little class. I love my friends. All of them are responsible, level headed, well presented, and respectable young black women. It's so interesting going to the club with them. My friends spend time picking out their outfits. Making sure they look nice, fit correctly, and is, therefore, appropriately assembled so as to make them appear as respectable as they possibly can be. Dress like a hoochie and be treated like a hoochie. Dress like a lady and be approached by the gentlemen who actually think they have a chance of gaining your attention. I'll go out with my friends and walk into the club and it's like wow! Booty shorts galore. Mini mini mini mini mini mini skirts. Clothes that are just way too tight. Hair colors that'll make a rainbow jealous. Gawdy jewelry. It's just a mess. And can't leave the fellas out when talking about clothing because it seems that 100XL shirts, 75x125 jeans, and fitted caps are the acceptable gear for ANY place they have to go. Can I see some pants pulled up and worn on the waist that actually fit. Nice polo and button down shirts. It's not appropriate to be street ALL the time. Just try to be taken seriously dressing that way and see how far it will get you. I respect those who can be street but at the same time know when to turn it on and off.
I'm real sick of black people who down those black people who are actually trying to be respected in this very fickle society of our's. We already have to fight so hard to be respected, get certain positions, and to be taken seriously because of our counterparts whose mission seems to be to ruin everything for the rest of us. Sure I may wear my clothes the right size instead of wearing clothes fit for a 300 lb man, talk properly instead of yo yo yoing and knawmeaning all willey nilley, walk with a sophisticated confidence instead of like one of my legs is shorter than the other, and care about my education and my advancement in the career world but does that have to mean I'm acting white? Does that have to mean I should be subject to scrutiny? And what kills me even more is that my people think they can get away with saying mean and hurtful things and if you have the backbone to say something back and stick up for yourself then they wanna get mad. Don't dish if you can't take it. That brings me to a story my friend told me not too long ago. It was about this couple who was going into the store together. Another guy came up and approached the girl and she had to let him know that she was there with her boyfriend. The boyfriend stepped in and politely let the guy know that they were together. WHY did the other guy shoot them? I mean, can't take rejection much. And we're talking about a black man here and a black couple. We have got to do better. All people have to do better but I would really like for my people to try just a little bit harder. Can we take after the Jewish community please. Because they came over to the United States and tore it up. We need to look out for our own. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down. And let's stop killing each other please. PLEASE. Killing is wrong regardless.
I just want us to continue what our ancestors started back during the Civil Rights Movement. We have already moved into a time of more equality but there is still so much more than can be done. And the only way we can succeed is to stop giving ammunition to those in power, because there are not many of us up there in rank in the United States, to look at us and believe that taking a chance on us will bring some undesirable consequences.
We have got to do better. For the sake of our future as a people. Because remember, what one of us does reflects on the whole lot.
My Farewell
Goodbye. Goodbye to the lifestyle that got me so caught up. I will debate to the death anyone who says I "chose this lifestyle." If I had a choice, please believe this wouldn't be it. The Lifestyle. What is it really about? Does it automatically lead you to be surrounded by crazed lunatics. The ones who tell you, "I'm here to enjoy myself. I'll be in my own little corner." I ask if they want to be alone. "Well you know how I am." But what's this? They're now in the corner, but not by themselves. Flaunting in front of your face something that you could never be. Didn't even have the decency to take it somewhere else. Letting you know there's no shame in their game. I pretend I don't care when I really do. Finally looking for that one to call my own. I know nothing good will ever come my way. But yet I continue to try. To no avail. I do run across the occasional one who is really not my type. The ones who are also desperately looking for that one. I'm then lead to break them down just as others have done to me. Because I have a particular type you see. A type that in any other situation I would turn my nose up at and wonder why the education system failed them so. I guess it's that swagger. Don't know why that is. But now, I'm through. Done with all the bullshit. Done with caring. Done with trying. I need to live for me. Travis Motherfucking Watkins. Stop dealing with these lame asses who aren't even good enough for me in the first place. Because I'm a Star. Always have believed that and I will continue to believe that until my Star is finally noticed and put on display. Why settle for less? Why deprive myself of what I truly know I can achieve. But I'll never get it. My luck is not that prosperous. I always get hurt. Always left alone to pick up the pieces. But no more. I won't continue to let myself get hurt. No longer to allow a piece of myself to leave in another's lap. Being put into a position of pain just to fulfill someone else's pleasure. I ask myself if it's worth it. I think. I contemplate. I make a decision. I give up. Give up on the lifestyle that has brought me so many tears. So many sleepless nights. The life that has lead me to mix a bottle of pills with a bottle of Vodka. The Lifestyle. They think I chose this. Well they're wrong. And now this style is out of season and from now on I'll live my own life in my own style. Farewell.
Just A Thought...
I was just thinking about something. You know how people go to the doctor, right? The doctor tells you that you need a shot. "Something for the pain," he says. "This will make you feel a little drowsy, but after the chills, the shakes, hot flashes, hallucinations, fatigue, and possible coma you'll be fine," she proclaims. A good question came to me after thinking about how many shots I have received in my lifetime. The numerous amounts my friends have received. People in my family. Both of my parents had shots. So did my grands. But wait... Let me ask one question. When we get shots, take pills even, how do we know what's really going into our bodies? I mean, doctors can be putting anything into us and we're totally oblivious of the contents. You think you're getting a shot for a polio vaccine and, oopppsss, they just put cancer into you. We don't know. Shoot. I would not even ATTEMPT to attend medical school. Hell, I hated science class. Except high school chemistry. That was fun. And 7th grade science. But that's beside the point. What is being injected into my arm when I go to hospitals? Somebody needs to answer me. Because I wanna know. Dammit. People, let's look at this.
We have people in these Top Secret laboratories mixing and mingling all these chemicals, catering a mixture to one particular ailment, saying it's ok to put into your body, and administering these mixtures to millions of people. Uh uh. Something just doesn't seem right. First of all they already have these big and real confusing names for this medical stuff. Oxyplaroadialneanlay. Think that's a real drug? Well it's not. I just made it up. Where is my check. Because really, where are the names for these things coming from? It just doesn't make sense to me.
And why are there more mixtures of chemicals that are used for treatment and/ or to soothe these ailments than there are to get rid of them? For good. But, wait a minute, I forgot. There are people out there making millions and millions of billions of dollars making and distributing medication to help prolong the effects of "the most deadly and incurable diseases." I bet you there is a cure for cancer locked away in some New Mexican mountain. The cure for HIV/AIDS is in some invisible super top secret facility in the middle of the rain forest surrounded by savages. The common cold. Someone has something for that as well. In a vault underground somewhere. As long as there is money to be made through pharmaceuticals, oh, those cures are not coming out anytime soon. But really, what are we allowing to be put into our bodies?
We have people in these Top Secret laboratories mixing and mingling all these chemicals, catering a mixture to one particular ailment, saying it's ok to put into your body, and administering these mixtures to millions of people. Uh uh. Something just doesn't seem right. First of all they already have these big and real confusing names for this medical stuff. Oxyplaroadialneanlay. Think that's a real drug? Well it's not. I just made it up. Where is my check. Because really, where are the names for these things coming from? It just doesn't make sense to me.
And why are there more mixtures of chemicals that are used for treatment and/ or to soothe these ailments than there are to get rid of them? For good. But, wait a minute, I forgot. There are people out there making millions and millions of billions of dollars making and distributing medication to help prolong the effects of "the most deadly and incurable diseases." I bet you there is a cure for cancer locked away in some New Mexican mountain. The cure for HIV/AIDS is in some invisible super top secret facility in the middle of the rain forest surrounded by savages. The common cold. Someone has something for that as well. In a vault underground somewhere. As long as there is money to be made through pharmaceuticals, oh, those cures are not coming out anytime soon. But really, what are we allowing to be put into our bodies?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The Inner Circle
I have the most absolute bestest of the best friends. I only have like five of them. Well maybe I'm exaggerating, but at the most I have like ten. I associate with others but I only consider them to be acquaintances. When I think of a friend, I think of someone who can overlook your faults. To a certain level, of course, but minimal faults can be overlooked because they truly see what you have inside. I have plenty of faults. Too many actually. So many that I keep asking myself how I ever came across such great people. And more importantly why they choose to stay in my life. Friends are there for you when you're down. Friends are there to support you in your darkest hour. Your friends should never bring up the things that hurt you the most and more importantly, like Vegas, whatever is said or done within the circle should remain in the circle. But my friends, my true friends, the inner circle, they are so terrific in every way. And everyone of them bring something new and different to the table. I know that's why I hang around them. Added on to the fact that I love them dearly I also learn a lot from them everyday. They teach me so much about life and how to deal with it. And I definitely need that right now because life as I know it is so rough. I need positive energy around me at all times or else I'll go crazy. That is why I decided to take a lot of people out of my life. I can only take some people in very very small doses if even that. I don't have any time for someone who is going to make me feel low. I do that enough for myself. The friends that I have now know pretty much everything about me. They also know that I like to talk about myself. Not in a conceited or it's all about me way. It's just that some of the time I have to tell them about stuff so that I can hear it and they can hear it. Then I can interpret what some things mean or the value of others. They will also let me know their thoughts and feelings. And it's always just us. Most of the time. Sometimes there are little tagalongs. But whenever we're together it feels like a hundred people are in the room. We do a lot. We laugh a lot. We have soul to soul time. We have even cried together. I have even cried in front of them and I usually don't let anyone ever see me cry. But that's how great my friends are. I just feel so comfortable with them. They are my friends for life. I hope they know that. There might be other acquaintances and such but they are the only ones I will truly consider to be my friends. To be my family.
Thoughts Before Giving Up
Was all that I have done ever enough?
I lie awake and try to make sense
To make sense of a life that was destined for strife
Or was it?
I had every opportunity in the world
I could be anything I want to be but first I must find me
Was I ever grateful?
Of course I appreciated everything done for me
But maybe my gratitude was hidden by pride and attitude
Do I even matter?
I don't even know
My vision used to be so bright but now lacking so much light
Should I go on?
Should I...
I lie awake and try to make sense
To make sense of a life that was destined for strife
Or was it?
I had every opportunity in the world
I could be anything I want to be but first I must find me
Was I ever grateful?
Of course I appreciated everything done for me
But maybe my gratitude was hidden by pride and attitude
Do I even matter?
I don't even know
My vision used to be so bright but now lacking so much light
Should I go on?
Should I...
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